Age-ified

Today is an anniversary of age, I am age-ifying, if you will. The big 2-1. Exciting? Maybe. We will see at the end of the day. Just three things to ask for...
1. To at some point in the day eat sushi
2. To hang out with my brothers for at least a little bit
3. To get a good drivers license picture.. haha (these darn braces)

Cross your fingers! :)

UPDATE:

I accomplished all I was hoping for on my birthday! YAY!
And even had more fun than I planned, and went with all of my bestest friends (minus Emily & Seth) to NEON and danced our little hearts out!

(Me & my Girls!)

(My BEST friends EVER!)

(J & I)

(Oh Darren, you have such beautiful teeth.. hehe)
(My favorite boys EVER!!)

(These are my boys and this is why I love them!)

(I dont know these men, but our shirts were the same! ha)

Of All The Days

Of all the days
Of all the time
You chose this place
And re-enter my life
As if worry never left
As if fear never died
Your word not kept
Still aches inside
1000 pounds
Hit square in the chest
But I stand proud
You made this mess
It was months ago
Almost years to date
Not friend or foe 

Your call came today


As soon as I begin to get by, stand on my own two feet.
Enough time for wounds not to close, but keep clean.
There you are, and I am fine.
Just not on the inside.

When everything is looking up, the world comes crashing down.
Again, and again, and again.

I would like to just break down.

So please, this time,

Just leave me here.

Cause somedays I miss where I stood.

The Milk Has Expired

I faintly remember nights that were spent
Not long ago
Standing in the August breeze
on this hidden road
Looking into your eyes
You were locked on mine
We laughed, we joked
but just to pass time
You told me that you could see this
For forever and forever
I told you I hadn't felt anything
No, not ever
You showered me with words I didn't deserve
And things I couldn't keep
You told me of places that we'd go
and promised things we'd see
A fortune for lovers
finding their dream
You told me you loved me
You knew I didn't feel a thing

Now November air is heavy
And weighing down on me
I'm trying to understand
But still cant feel a thing
I thought I'd wait
To explain feelings
I thought I would
Give time for healing
The first few words
They seemed so good
Somehow I knew
This news would hurt
A ring to her finger
Words dropped like a brick
Fast and faded away
You moved on so quick

Let Me Down One More Time..

There is far too much disappointment found here.

Its about time to give in and give up.
I play like baseball, 3 strikes and you're out.

But I keep letting it slide, like something might just change.

The only problem is it never does.

I don't want to be pushy, because that will get us no where.

But be honest.
My mind keeps trying to believe that there is something,

but my heart is a reminder that alone will keep it from breaking.

Please don't let this be just one more promise you cant keep.

Don't let me down, again.

Soon enough you will be dead to me

What a tragedy

Today is a word on paper

Somedays to find the right thing to say, words just need to fly.

Somedays to get to the right destination, you just need to drive.

Today was my day.

Dont question, just pick up the phone.

You WILL survive.

This is just a test.

Dont be fooled, it is hard work.

Be prepared for some let downs, but also be prepared for great sucesses.

Maybe Mondays aren't so bad and what you thought you could no longer look for will show up at your front door.

Its not a secret unless you want it to be and even then, someone will know.

Crush, just dont let your crush crush you, and dont crush the crush.

Smiles get wider when time expires, not the other way around.

You tried really hard, just not your hardest.

You did good, but definitely did not do your best.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

A stamp on a cheek means only one thing, someone is in for a little surprise.

You see, honesty can never be mean, it can just be brutal.

Someday you will forgive that little part in your heart that keeps telling them that nothing is wrong. Clearly, something is.

Who are you missing? Why are they gone? How will you find them? When will they return?

Please keep safe on your journey dear, for when you return, I shall smile.

This is a race but the clock will never beat me.

The truth is in the call. MY truth is in my fall.

Be the person you wanted to be, share with millions, hope and believe.

Words wont change the expresion on my face, unless I take them in and remember this place. This place is tainted, so forget about it.

Move on quick but wait for the moment.

Try to think, how would you have felt? What would you have done? Blame them again, I dare you.

You---GET BACK HERE!

I wanted you to know, I find beauty in your blindness. I feel love for you, not kindness. Be here. Dont go again.

Age is becoming timeless, words are becoming rhymeless and I am on my own.

I'll go to watch them do what I dream. Old and wrinkled, I WILL be where I want to be.

Smile and be free!

Block

Recently writers block and I came to terms. Unfortunately, I suffer from many blocks. Many of which I fear I may never get over. A friend told me to cure my writers block I needed to just write. Write and write until the creative side of my brain kicks in. It worked. So when will the rest of it begin to work? For instance, Lovers block, the more I fight it, the worse it gets. Every time I have someone amazing in my life, I push away. I try to fix it the way I fix writers block, just to love and love and love. As much as I want to and try to love, it never works the way I wish it would.

"A love lost, is a life lost!"

How many more lives need to be lost before I get over this "block"?

I'm stuck.

Again.

This time I'm lonely, just not alone.