Sometimes change is exactly what you need to find out if your situation is right. Sometimes, it isn't. This time, we will see. I have a bad habit of finding myself on the opposite end, thinking I found what I needed, knowing nothing at all.
Hard to kick an old habit.
Also hard to change the way I feel, if I really feel at all. Some people stick around hoping that things will some how conform to how they wish they would be. I on the other hand, give up before I know if things will ever be what I dream. It's hard to forget failure. It's hard to forget each time you try. Nights I find myself kicking and screaming, until I open my eyes and see, things really are much better.
If I could just let it be happy.
If I could just let it be.
If I could.
If.
Or maybe this time I am right. This time my thought to run is because I should. I gave up on the past years ago. I gave up holding onto what I could never change, and people I wasn't meant for. Why am I alone? Why is all there is to see from the past? And different times? And different people? Just as I am hearing a lot of "we're just friends" and "I am over it" I am asked elsewhere why I spend my days with those who cant move on. I ask myself the same thing.
There are happy days.
There are times when I wake up to a sun filled room.
I smile because I know where I am is where I should be.
I see a smile, I feel a touch, I hear a laugh, and I know.
But will the days last longer than the nights?
I thought I knew. I think I know.
I don't.
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