It Beats Slowly

They say
"She can't fall for you if you're not there to catch her."
Well she and I are very alike

I can't fall for you
if you're not there to catch me.
(Whether it be I am re-falling, falling further or just stumbling clumsily downward)

It's this womanly instinct of mine.
I just know when something isn't quite okay.
Why is that?
Why do I spend half my day knowing there is something wrong
and the other half trying to fix it?

It wears me down.

It's like that day in elementary school when you came home
and your mom wasn't there to greet you.
This eerie feeling comes and you know something isn't right.
Sure, maybe it was nothing,
maybe she just was in a really long line at the grocery store,
or maybe just at the neighbors chatting.

Regardless of why,
your normal life was shifted for a day.

My normal life is becoming that very life.
The same one where I come home and my mom is gone.
Except this has nothing to do with my mom
and everything to do with
my heart

♥
This heart that has chest walls inflating around it.
This heart that is constantly left hanging.
This heart that is my heart and though it beats,
it beats slowly.
♥

Words are spread out over a flat life-less screen.
And the much over-due words keep me waiting with suspense.
But will the words that need to be
ever be said?